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CTCon ’16 Typewriter Story

Written by on Saturday, July 16th, 2016. Filed Under: ConnectiCon 2016


Please enjoy this year’s convention story series from ConnectiCon 2016! Below are the various stories told to our typewriter.

Day 1:

The first day of ConnectiCon started off with a “schlorp”. By now you may think “schlorp” is a sound of some sort, but you would be sorely mistaken. It was, however, just as lewd as it sounded. but anyway, the staff were very helpful in their starting dance. It was a jump to the left, and a step to the back. Everyone was having a wonderful time, when all of a sudden the gasmask man jumped out of the wraith with a ton of gas at the ready and then aliens came to invade the city and out of nowhere superman came to save the day.

Hello, today is July 4th, america’s birthday… I wonder if the illuminatis will invade today. Also, I haven’t had any cake today, which is insane.

I’mma gonna get some and write some fanfic about Harry Potter, and Hetalia as well, ‘cuz I’m a fangirl. Okay, Parlons français. Vous savez, Kleman Lake est le vrai nom de Lac Geneves en Suisse. Vous trompez si vous dites, Lac Geneve.

Pizza? Yes, it was pizza that woke us from our slumber and that woke the convention from it’s stupor that Friday in July. The air was hot, the bugs were out, and the smell of pizza was wafting through the air. Everyone free from their homes, responsibilities and work place; out for a weekend of great times. When all of a sudden the police shot an innocent man, whaaaatt???? That is crazy. Crazy perhaps, but somehow the world we live in. It can be dark, but the cosplayers will save us. I’m not sure just where this story is going, but check out my cosplay page sen franzi on facebook.

And spidey reluctantly accepted the invitation to the cosplay ball where gwen will never notice you. It was also on the day Jinxy discovered that he made out with michael to his embarrassment, and saw Edward’s husband, but does not regret the fact he’d done what few men did and enjoyed whipped cream with identical twins.

The next day, congoers were surprised to find that a giant monster had carried off the convention center overnight, despite the enormous number of would-be heroes in the vicinity. Then, Kaz said, “Ey, gamers.” But honestly, the congoers would have beaten the monster, but Deadpool started a dance party. And Lady Thor won the dance off. Arwen Undomiel united with her friends Samwise Gamgee and Master Gimli; though changes in middle earth were present. THe Fire Nation was close behind ready to finally kill the Avatar. Thor was following close behind when he noticed there was trouble afoot. Well… cute trouble… iI mean who would suspect that the tiny boy in the deadpool mask with the pink and purple tutu could be trouble? Afterall, trouble doesn’t come in tiny packages with pocky attached.

The day progressed as most slow Fridays normally did, but when nobody expected it, a familiar figure darkened the door to the room. It was Chuck Norris. BOOM. POW! As he kicked his trunk door, there was a horrifying shriek, when he looked inside, there was a strange creature inside. It was kind of greenish.

DAY 2:

I sat at the edge of the shore with high tide waves splashing upon my feet. I took the watch out of my pocket from what happened last night and thought, well…what if?

Help me, I’m trapped inside this typewriter and I don’t /woof/ Pay no attention to the whiner. Most of us love it in here. Can I have a bone please? No, bones are for good puppies.

Once upon a time, a lesbian tried to find love. It was very difficult since she was shy and closeted. She continued her search; she longed for the days of her youth, when she was but a pup and free from the curst that imprisoned her inside this typewriter alongside the dark lord Cthulhu.

No matter the season, there is no colder evening than one spent alone. And on this one, I finally was gifted with warmth. I have never used a typewriter before. I can’t believe you’ve done this, but no man has ever defeated the king ogre ever before in all of history. It will take an entire army of mithras to be able to defeat him, using their cunning, magic, and agility. But when the mob gathered with their big meaty claws, the only words he could say was, “uh oh.” As the mob drew closer, he was trying to find the USB port.

It was a dark and stormy night, when Dracula has seen the light of day at last. Do not mourn my passing, as I can only exist with my one love and alas she has left for the fiery tendrils of the sun’s passing beauty. Later that night, with the purple storm clouds building in the evening sky, ninjas attacked!

Hello world. Goodbye. I’m sophisticated.

In entered a boy named Luke, who is an average man in every way, shape, and form. His nickname is “L Swag”. He is a normal kid by day, and a ninja by night.

Suddenly, the Fire Nation attacked! Our heroes had little time to prepare for the battle. Then Herb slowly took off hit hat and revealed his toupe. Underneath was a misadventure full of whimsy and unimaginable pain.

You’re tough, Pine Tree. I like you. But we cannot be together; the forest people would not approve. Sometimes the strangest things happen when you least expect it.

A girl had a dream of comic con. One fateful day, a prince approached the maiden of security with a proposition, “Come with me to the land of Animania (Japan), a lovely ocean side country of wonders. She consented to his offer and could not believe the sights and flavors of this wondrous land.

The animals, with their colors and dancing, a sight of awe. The flavors of the smokehouse filled her nostrils and belly with glee.

DAY 3:

Good morning, and welcome to today’s edition of the CTCon Times. Today, we lead the news with some late breaking action from…Jeff Pawllson, con action news kitty on scene; meow meow meow. But seriously,  things are looking bad here. There was an eye witness on the scene that spoke of a horror they had never seen before.

They say it was too horrible to describe, but I will anyway. They say someone parading around in what could only be described as a moshpit of conflicting colors and textures; the person tried, but failed to combine as many costumes and fandoms as possible. They had the arm of Edward Elric, the foot of a dragon, the arm of Guts, the hair of the guy from GSI, with a beehive on his head. And it was heard to say, “I SHIP IT!” So then someone passed out on the con floor as usual.

In the con, there appeared a haunted house, complete with intrepid adventurers, troop 624, professor rap, a gypsy with a cross, beef slagpunch, the crazy one who became possessed by a murder ghost, and finally the bleedy one.

And then time suddenly shifted backwards. It was then they understood that to save the future they must destroy the past. But the past was only an illusion. n,htk heoo —DATA CONNECTION LOST—it s   eon

I need to get out of the vault, however I must watch out for the radiation. Must get cola. End transmission.

Then, all of a sudden Mr. Freeze broke in and started freezing everyone. Luckily the Justice League banned together to restore order. And the Grinch took everyone’s purses. Malificent showed up wreak her own brand of havoc. but she was the only one with a knack for destruction.

But always there are the gophers. And the cockroaches run fast. The cockroaches will inherit the earth because the humans have not proven worthy. The real problem would be if the bees found out.

I am not human. I am not dragon. I am neither. No one. Then the situation changed like V Tach after a defibrillator shock. The EMS Gods sent her, Asenath Mendard, not the heroine Arkham Massachusetts needed, but the one they deserved. All five foot four inches, one hundred and thirty five pounds of blue eyeliner’d paramedic crazy. And her sidekick Uncle Kew.

Standing here at the typewriter, he realized just how hard it was to think of th emost important thing to say. Then it came to him. “Thanks for letting me play on your wonderful machine!” He picked it up and ran. As he was running, he tripped over a man who was lying on the ground trying to capture a pokemon. ARGH! My typewriter!